An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life . . . Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:10-12, 28-30, NASB)
Proverbs 31 is attributed to King Lemuel. Many Bible scholars think Lemuel is actually King Solomon. If that’s true, then the wisest man who ever lived wrote an accurate description of my wonderful bride, Sue!
Several years ago I did a Proverbs 31 devotional. The idea is thus: There are 31 days in most months, and 31 chapters in Proverbs. Read a chapter of Proverbs every day corresponding to that day’s date. Do that every month for a year, and you get to know Proverbs pretty well! I loved the last day of the month, as I got to read about Sue!
This chapter of Proverbs is divided into two parts. The first part is the author’s mother giving him advice on how to rule his kingdom. If Lemuel is Solomon, then his mother is Bathsheba. Interesting! The second portion is titled “Description of a Worthy Woman.” My woman is indeed a “Proverbs 31 woman!”
In the text above, Solomon describes the excellent wife: She is valuable; a great partner of her husband; she is good for her man. There is a break in this text with more detail (see verses 13-27): The excellent wife is described as industrious; diligent; involved; tireless; generous; thrifty; strong; selfless; dignified; wise; and kind. And finally, rejoining the text, she is blessed and praised by her family. She excels in all she does. That’s my Sue!
There is one description of the excellent wife that troubles me. Ladies, I’d like a word with the men here, so please skip to the next paragraph. OK, men, I’ve proven over the years, and painfully, that I know nothing about women. But in verse 14, the wisest man who ever lived describes his wife like so: “She is like merchant ships.” Now contextually, that may have been a compliment in ancient Israel, but my advice to you fellas is, “Don’t compare your lady to a cargo ship!” Even I know better!
OK ladies, welcome back!
In my current state, with ALS, there is nothing I can do. I can’t move, I can’t speak. Sue has to do everything for me. She takes excellent care of me. We have an excellent nurse, Meghan, who’s with us three days a week during the day, and an outstanding physical therapist, Joe, who visits twice a week to give me a workout. Other than that, we’re on our own. Sue does the work of a nurse, a physical therapist, a respiratory therapist. She’s an operator, a planner, and a logistician. She’s a heavy equipment operator. In short, she’s a Jill-of-all-trades. She excels at them all!
Men are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church. How much is that? It’s an infinite, perfect love. We’re not capable of that, but we’re supposed to try. How can I do that while laid up in bed, unable to move? By being as considerate as possible. By separating “needs” from “wants,” and not being excessively demanding. By showing my appreciation for everything she does. Her work is physically, mentally, and emotionally demanding. But she excels at it all. God blessed me with an excellent, Godly woman!
I miss little things in our lives. I miss being out with her, holding her hand while we walked. I loved having her on my arm, showing her off. I miss bringing her coffee first thing in the morning. I used to make her coffee and bring it to her. She said it was the best coffee, and I don’t (or didn’t!) drink coffee. I wonder if I’ll be able to serve her coffee in heaven, in the New Jerusalem?
The Bible has images and comparisons using marriage. The Church is called the Bride of Christ. Revelation 19 describes the future Wedding Supper of the Lamb. That’s one reception I look forward to attending someday with my bride. She’s my sweetheart, my wife, my best friend! Most important of all, she’s my Sister in Christ!
“Faithful Friend,” by Twila Paris and Stephen Curtis Chapman