Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. (Ephesians 5:25-31, NASB)
Today is Valentines Day. I’m told it’s all about love. Paul has a lot to say about love in his letter to the church at Ephesus. Specifically, he writes about how we should conduct ourselves in marriage.
He tells us husbands that we should love our wives. How much? There are actually two comparisons to the answer: First, we’re to love our wives “just as Christ also loved the church.” And second, “as their own bodies.”
The first idea is that we should love our wives “just as Christ also loved the church.” And how much does Christ love the church? Paul answers that when he says that Christ “gave Himself up for her.” Jesus submitted Himself to horrific torture and crucifixion for His church, and for you and me. This is the kind of sacrifice we should be willing to make for our wives. Further, Jesus sanctified the church, and cleansed her, so “that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.” As far as the parallel with marriage, I think this means we’re to treat our wives with the utmost love, and that they’re the most important blessing in our earthly life.
“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies.” Paul explains that the husband who loves his wife also loves himself; that no one ever hated his own body, but takes care of it; and that Christ also takes the same care of the church, because we’re all “members of His body.” “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:25 image. Found at Disciple CMC Blog, http://disciplecmcblog.blogspot.com/2015/03/husbands-love-your-wives.html
Fellow husbands, how do we apply all this? Paul says we’re to do the impossible. No mortal is capable of loving his wife “just as Christ also loved the church.” His is a perfect love: “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Although impossible to emulate, this is the ideal for which we’re to strive.
My pastor, Grant Etheridge, and his wife Tammy, put on a marriage seminar a few years ago. It was on Wednesday nights and lasted several weeks. Liberty Baptist Church was filled to the rafters each night for the duration. There are two takeaways I remember especially from Pastor Grant: The first is that your spouse should be your best friend. The second, marriage is not a competition–but we should try and serve the other as best we can.
Best friend: Of course, this makes perfect sense. Why else would you marry the other person? This reminds me of how I should treat my wife. “Is this how I should treat my best friend?” Or, “I can’t believe I just did that to my best friend (followed by an apology!)!”
Service: I’ll just give an example: Sue loves to wake up with a cup of coffee. I love Sue. Therefore, I used to make coffee and bring it to her (I don’t drink coffee) until I could no longer climb the stairs.
So husbands are to love their wives. The ideal is to copy the way Christ loves His church. I think St. Valentines Day and wedding anniversaries are good times to reflect on that. So Sue, Happy Valentines Day. God willing, for next Valentines Day, I will be here.
“I Will Be Here,” by Steven Curtis Chapman